As Pink drove his three sleeping friends home from the Aerosmith concert, he began to regret quitting football.

Ray Stantz leaned back in the recliner, his bones creaking and arthritis buzzing. A life of fighting ghosts had taken its toll, and he was a young man no longer.

He watched the shot fall in its descending arc, knowing a miss. Scott Howard felt The Wolf stirring inside him once again.

He had to admit that the gun made him nervous, but he was terrified by the alligator with love in her eyes.

The ironic thing is that the comedian understood very little about what it took to make people laugh; joy was not a concept he had grasped.

I guess you could call it revenge, but revenge was just an excuse to spread destruction and hurt.

Jack the Brick liked his old life of standing still and holding up the wall, and he very much disliked this new life of flipping through the air and smashing through the window.

The sky above the farm was crackling with electricity; it was the color of a television tuned to a dead channel, but we all felt the hair on our arms and neck spring to startled life.

Through the safety shield, between the hissing blocks of ice, I could see the being we called "Xavier" repairing himself with bizarre tools this world has never seen.

“He lived till he died,” normally a phrase of comfort, but now once spoken feel upon the room and left only sadness of time misspent.

It's cancer.  Malignant.  Terminal.  I'm going to die.  Time to go tell my shithead boss to fuck off.

All of this would be copied, collated, stapled, and filed... metaphorically speaking, of course.

Deborah put the lotion in the basket without complaint.  She absolutely did not want the hose again.

THE WORST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE started innocently enough: with a cup of coffee and a strawberry cereal bar.

He watched the mushroom cloud bloom over Boise.  That should take a big chunk out of the evil potato army.

The truth was that he could see the future. The lie was that she was in it.

He knew that “Drunk Wednesday” wasn’t really a thing. What he didn’t realize was how much he depended on it.

…but then having flexibility in his morality had become a real plus for Jordan in his career as torture room contractor.

Baljeet spat out the tooth and shot a bloody grin at Teddy.  "Is that the best you can do, you idiot bear?"

Sam looked sadly at the stone statue that had once been his dog.  I never should have dated the Medusa, he thought glumly.

And as I see you now, I know I will never get the time I spent considering which shirt appealed to you more.

Up the ramp, over the creek, under the windmill, and into the clown's mouth.  Euphoria swept over Stuart.  He knew this hole-in-one was going to change his entire life.

"I love you, honey," she said, sarcasm and blame dripping off of every word.

The baby slid through the birth canal.  As soon as he was born, father and son locked eyes.  On some instinctive, animalistic level, both knew it was the beginning of a life-long blood duel.

I have seen moments of great consequence, and regardless the amount of cream cheese involved, this was one of them.

He was the type of guy you couldn't trust with a $5 but you could with a $50. A $50 felt strange and too precious to squander.

I was before her in all ways, except the ones that mattered.

He was the sound that the lonely electric six string's amp makes as it bounces of the wall of an empty studio apartment.

The mask broke and scrapped hard against his face from the force of the blow. George suddenly began reconsidering his vigilante hobby.

"I am not asleep," he says with anger trailing into a sad question. The type of strange outburst that demands new puncation to be invented

She opened the cupboard, and for a moment she could see a day into future. She would have cornflakes for breakfast then too.

Despite his volunteer status, they called Phillip the "fireman" becuase he caught himself on fire every other time he got drunk.

I lumber through the dark as a drunken ogre, begging my villagers and their pitchforks to come save me from my wrath.

"I swear this where we buried her." "You're not sure?!" "Hey, you can start judging me when you bury a body in the desert in the dark!"

"I swear this where we buried her." "You're not sure?!" "Hey, you can start judging me when you bury a body in the desert in the dark!"

The echo comes flying back from across the room. My isolation is completed. I have seen the end before and this is the beginning.

She was the moment he had be waiting for. She filled it effortlessly and completely. And he watched it pass with her retreat.

In his 11th life, Greg was reincarnated as a model train with limited mobilty and a badly painted conductor. He thought it fitting.

He took a belt of Jack at the completion of the paper clip fort. Finally he could sleep without fear of the earwig plots against him.

Behind bars they waited for the sun to return from the far side of the world, bringing with it their dignity & freedom, stolen by tequila.